


Corny Jokes and Horny Folks

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 07:29:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8524000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Spencer and the reader are trying to have sex, but he keeps making her laugh.Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	

Your boyfriend of three years had just gotten home from work and you wanted nothing more than to jump his bones, which you made clear as you jumped into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“So you missed me?” he said cheekily, sticking his tongue out to make you laugh. 

“I always miss you,” you said, “and I’ve been unbelievably giggly and horny all day long.”

Spencer kissed at the junction just below your ear, which always drove you crazy. “I think I can help with that.”

“Yesssssss,” you replied, pumping your fists up into the air. “You mean you can make me laugh or you can fuck my brains out?”

“Both,” he declared, walking you back into the bedroom, “definitely both.”

As he crossed the threshold of the door, his shoe caught on the lip, causing him to fall over with you still in his arms. He tried his best to keep himself upright, but every movement only made it worse and he stumbled backward, falling onto the bed with you on top of him. 

The force of the fall caused you to hit your heads together. “Ow, fuck,” you laughed, rubbing your head.

“Oh my god, Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he said, massaging his own head.

You snorted. “It’s okay. It was actually really fucking funny.”

Spencer laughed, bringing your head down to his. After a slew of open-mouthed kisses that left you both breathless, he started, “Within the hour, I will make you laugh uncontrollably and I will make you come.”

“Promise?” you asked, lifting yourself up to take off your t-shirt.

“Yes, absolutely,” he replied, sitting up and burying his head in between your chest. “Now, what do you call it when a shoemaker drops his vegetables?” he asked. He knew how much you loved corny jokes, so he was always seeking out new ones to charm you with.

“I have no idea,” you said, peeling back the buttons of his shirt. “Tell me.”

“Corn on the cobbler!” he said, his eyes fluttering closed as he laughed under his breath.

You whipped your head back. “Oh, baby, that is so bad!” you laughed. “Now, I’ve got one for you. You cannot run in a campground, you can only ran. Why?”

He furrowed his brows in thought, but wasn’t deterred from his other mission. He flipped you over on the bed and pulled down your jeans, kissing up your body before returning and asking for the punch line. “I don’t know. Why?”

“Because it’s past tents! Hahahahahaha.” 

“Okay, I like that one, but you’ve got to do better than that,” he laughed, pushing his pants down to the floor. “Go again.”

“Ummm...okay,” you mumbled, running through the litany or corny jokes in your head. “How about this one? Why do French people eat snails?”

You were now both completely naked, trading corny jokes in bed, and you couldn’t be happier. “I have no idea,” he said, lightly biting your nipple, which caused you to arch off of the bed.

“Because they don’t like fast food!” you cried out, laughing uncontrollably. The biggest laugh you’d ever heard left him as he fell to your side.

“They don’t like fast food! Yes! I love it!” He was practically crying.

“You have yet made me pee my pants,” you said looking down at your nakedness, “or my lack of pants. Make me laugh! Go!”

“Alright, I’ve got one more. This will appeal to the literature lover in you,” he said, his finger massaging your clit, “Why did Shakespeare only write in pen?”

It took you a little longer to answer him, considering his fingers were working magic between your slick folds. “I have no clue,” you breathed, “why did he only use pens.”

“Pencils confused him. 2B or not 2B?” he snorted, the glint in his eyes knowing. He knew he had you.

You snorted like a pig. It was a good thing you’d been dating for three years, because you would’ve been embarrassed if you’d just started dating. “YES! Yes, Spence! That one was amazing!” You practically rolled off the bed, only being caught by your boyfriend before knocking your head.

He’d made you laugh like a maniac, so now his eyes turned darker, his other intent made clear. “How did I get so lucky?” you asked, running your hands through his hair and taking his tongue into your mouth. “How can I be so lucky to have great sex with my best friend who makes me laugh like a kid?”  
His other drive now at the forefront of his mind, Spencer moved down toward your breasts, lavishing both nipples with the attention they so desired. As he rubbed at your clit, using his index and middle finger to massage that special spot inside you, he made it clear where his mind was now. “I said I’d make you laugh and make you come within the hour and it’s been nearly 45 minutes, so I have some work to do.”

“Damn straight,” you choked out. It wasn’t going to take 15 minutes.


End file.
